All of us experience time scarcity at one stage or another. And often, this is because we’re not truly aware of how we’re spending our time. This leads to us spending our time in ways that are not aligned with our big goals and often leads us into a place of busyness, which is not how we make progress.
Tune in this week to discover how to get into alignment with how you’re spending your time and start using the 24 hours we all get in a day to the best of your ability. You might have to make some decisions that don’t feel good in the moment, but it is truly possible to make more personal time for yourself while also fulfilling your commitments and working towards your dreams.
You are listening to episode nine of the Wealthy Happy Soul Podcast: All the Time in the World Part Two.
Welcome to The Wealthy Happy Soul Podcast, a show for high achievers who are ready to start enjoying the life they’ve worked so hard to create. Join me, your host and Certified Life Coach Dr. Tangie, to learn how to start infusing the dedication you have for your career into living a truly fulfilling life. If you’re ready to finally gain the happiness your soul has been longing for, this podcast is for you.
Hello everybody. I am so happy because you are here. First things first, next week I will be announcing the first winner of one of the five $100 gift cards that I’m giving away.
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Wow, time has flown, even in 2020 during this pandemic. Am I right or am I right? And speaking of time, last week we talked about some simple mindset shifts that have really helped me tremendously in thinking about time in a different way. And that’s because everything that we do in our life is done based on how we think about whatever thing we’re working on.
And mindset is extremely important because if you don’t expand how you think about any issue you will always continue to struggle with that issue. Your answers to any problem will always be seen through the lens of how you’re thinking, so don’t skip that part, it’s very important.
And this week we’re going to address some of the most common problems and solutions I’ve seen that come up around time. And to me the suffering that accompanies these problems usually occurs in the setting of time scarcity or not really having enough time to do all the things you need to do. And most of the time this is simply because we are not aware of how we actually spend our time. And thus many of the activities that we do with our time are not aligned. And just like your success, your time, a component of success also needs to be aligned.
And sticking with the model of conscious creation, aligning your time involves awareness, making conscious decisions and sticking to those decisions through committing to creating your ideal life on a day-by-day basis. Have you ever really thought about what your ideal life looks like when it comes to time? We tend to think about our future life in terms of what we’re going to do for work or how our relationships look, or how much money we have. But people really don’t visualize exactly what a typical day looks like for us in our future hour-by-hour.
And this is a really fun exercise to do on a day off. And if you normally have full days on your days off where you don’t have much time to think or to dream, I would highly suggest and like to offer that you create a completely free day as soon as you possibly can. This is a game changer.
And if you’re feeling really flossy I would even stay in a luxury hotel, or rent a super swanky place where you can actually embody your future self and live just one day right now as she would actually be living every day in the future. Is she working on her novel from 9:00am till 11 followed by brunch with her favorite people? Does she have a really intense workout session with her personal trainer before having an in home massage by her personal masseuse?
Is she getting pampered by her personal glam team before an exquisite evening at Dîner en Blanc or a photoshoot for her highly successful business? All these things are not only fun but they’re really important for you to think about, feel and embody as much as you possibly can. That’s what brings these things into fruition.
And I know this visualization doesn’t sound like it has much to do with time but really they are interconnected when you’re trying to create a situation or a circumstance that is different than the one that you are currently experiencing. And it all begins with examining what are your current priorities? And how are they aligned with the ideal life that you dream of having and the ideal life that your soul is begging you to create?
How are you thinking about the things that you have to do in relation to the things that you want to do? When there is misalignment in this area there is so much resistance and that’s what makes it seem like it takes way longer to actually get things done. You may think the problem is only time when really it’s a problem of not being intentional, or setting boundaries, or having the courage to have difficult conversations where they’re needed. And when this happens this is what creates time scarcity most of the time.
This is how time slips away, because what you’re doing is you’re trading and sacrificing the life that you really want to live with things that such away your joy, and your creativity, and most importantly, your energy. The exact same energy that you need to create something different that gives back to you the same energy that you put out if not more.
So if you find yourself constantly saying, “I never have time to myself,” why is that? Are you spending a lot of time doing things that you don’t really want to do? We’ve been made to feel like we have to do everything when we really don’t. We really don’t even have to work if we don’t want to. And this isn’t saying go quit your job probably.
But this is really just a statement that is meant to kind of expand your mind and expand your realm of possibilities. Because you may have your reasons to choose to do certain things, but when you really think about it, the only thing any of us really have to do is die. I haven’t figured out a way out of that one. Everything else are things that we choose. And the key is to learn how to love all of the reasons for the choices we are making. So we can do what we choose with more ease and peace of mind, and less resistance, and suffering, and more room to create.
You hear people all the time who just up and sell everything and move into an RV and do odd jobs as they go and they’re really happy. Or they save up money and move to an entirely different country where the cost of living is much cheaper and the culture encourages familial bonding. And actually that’s the path my younger brother and his wife took.
My sister-in-law actually quit her highly successful job as an engineer and they’ve packed up for Columbia soon after they got married and they have created an extremely happy beautiful life there. They’ve had their babies there. They’ve made friends there. And people thought they were nuts until it worked out. And I hate to spoil it but when you start to make your own decisions and commitments, people will probably think you’re nuts too. It always happens that way when you’re the leader of the pack.
And I know some people think I’m nuts but you have to get to the point where your own happiness and peace of mind far outweigh what anybody else thinks, because they are not stuck with your life, you are. So stop letting your time slip away. Cultivate awareness on a daily basis. Do your thought work and recognize what you can control and focus on that.
An example of this for me was when I started working with my own coach and I learned a lot of these same concepts. And what I recognized was that I used to waste so much of my time venting and complaining about work to anybody who had an ear. And it was also extra satisfying when they also had things to complain about too. I imagine about half the day was wasted hopping from one office to the next, to the break room, to the cooler and just venting, and gossiping, and complaining about the job, and the system, and how we were screwed.
And then at the end of the day I would be extra pissed because I hadn’t gotten anything done and then I’d blame it on the job. And complain that I had to put in so many hours, and I was so tired, really, I was the ultimate martyr, at least in my mind. But then I learned exactly what I’m telling you. And I actually applied it and I was floored at how much extra time I actually had, which gave me both the time and the energy to start visualizing and creating the plan for the life that I live today.
And I haven’t had a decrease in work or responsibility, in fact it’s quite the opposite, the amount of work I have today has tremendously increased with becoming an entrepreneur. It’s like I now have two and a half jobs, sometimes three. However, the amount of time I have for myself has also tremendously increased along with my happiness. But what I want to tell you is that it didn’t just happen. ‘I am not lucky.’ I had to consciously create it. I had to have a lot of come to Jesus meetings with myself and I had to have a lot of hard conversations with other people.
I had to learn to set boundaries and fight for the vision that I have for myself. I had to get in alignment with how I was spending my time. And that’s what I want for you. How can you get in alignment with how you’re spending your time? How can you connect with your freedom, your joy, and your power?
Think of all the things that you actually get to do in everyday life and why do you love them? And if you don’t love them, examine why, write it all down on paper and take it through the model of conscious creation steps which I talk about in episodes two through six. Fair warning, you may have to make some decisions that don’t feel good in the moment, but it will be to your benefit in the long term.
Okay, so while we’re on the subject of time scarcity let’s also address the deeply rooted problem with me scarcity. Which is otherwise known as busyness, when you’re so busy that you neglect your number one asset which is you, and your own wellbeing, and self-care, busyness, I hate to break it to you is not a badge of honor. That is one of the biggest falsities that we have been sold. Everybody needs time to reset and recharge. I have never seen a pendulum that only swings in one direction.
There is just a natural rhythm to life. And constant busyness with no downtime, or time to reset and recharge, literally goes against universal law. It is not sustainable without something come off of the hinges. Why are you so busy? Are you just filling time because you’ve been told that you’re lazy if you’re not doing something all the time? Are you people pleasing for external validation? As a woman do you feel so responsible for family that you dishonor yourself in order to give to everybody else first?
Are you working too much, doing work that fulfills everybody else but you? You have to have the courage to reevaluate that if you really want true peace and happiness in your life because the ultimate lesson is that if you don’t put yourself first, nobody is going to do it for you. And the longer you keep putting yourself on the backburner everything in your life will slowly unravel because it’s impossible to give anything to anybody else that you have not given to yourself first.
I’m going to repeat that because it’s very important. It is impossible to give anything to anybody else that you have not first given to yourself. If you haven’t given it to yourself first it’s akin to somebody giving you a pair of cubic zirconia earrings and wrapping it up all pretty in a Tiffany box in an attempt to hide the fact that the earrings are counterfeit. And what this means is that if you’re trying to give people, your job, your man, and yes, even your kids, anything that you have not first given to yourself like love or quality time, or your best, then this is exactly what you’re doing, so stop it.
Okay, so moving on there is also the problem of literally – literally doing too much while underestimating the time that you have available to get it done. And this can take a while to get a handle on. And I personally struggle with this one still and this is where I like to apply some of the more classical time management techniques. But I would only start to apply these techniques after you have a really solid understanding of why it’s important to move in the direction of getting into time alignment as much as you can beforehand, which is why I took the time to speak about all those things in detail first.
So as far as action, one of the first things you can do and my favorite tool is actually scheduling everything you have to do and putting it on your calendar as an appointment and stick with it. At the beginning of the week, some people use Sunday, some people use Monday. Start by literally getting everything that you have to do out of your mind and down on paper, write it all down. And then put each item on your calendar in order of importance.
Hint, if you are somebody who never has enough time for herself, schedule this time for yourself first and do it intentionally or else the cycle will continue. That is a guarantee. Even if it’s waking up five minutes earlier to meditate, or read a trashy romance novel, it’s your time and you get to do whatever you want to do with it. And if you are the person that literally has more things on the calendar than it’s physically possible to do, I personally tend to be that person. That’s when I like to actually apply the second thing I’m going to discuss today which is the Pareto Principle.
And the Pareto Principle essentially says that 80% of your results are really being driven by 20% of your efforts. And when you begin to understand that most of the things that are driving your life forward are driven by a very small percentage of your efforts, you can pinpoint the things that are moving you forward the fastest and focus your energy on those first. And I like to apply the Pareto Principle because it creates a lot less stress.
If you are a salesperson and most of your income comes from actually making sales it doesn’t make any sense to spend half of your day checking emails, which doesn’t bring in any revenue at all. So in this instance you would check your email last, if you even got to it. And that way you’re able to focus on what matters. And it also gives you a higher level of engagement with your work.
And what you’ll find is that your desired results will increase faster, which highlights all the things that you’ve been doing that you don’t really need to do. Which then gives you more time and energy to focus on your passions and hobbies outside of your work, it gives you more time to focus, and dream, and create your next thing.
So once you have everything out on paper apply the Pareto Principle and when you are ready to get to work that’s when number three comes in, and this is one of my favorite things, it’s called the Pomodoro Technique. That’s P.o.m.o.d.o.r.o., for some reason my mouth doesn’t say that word correctly, Pomodoro. Anyway, the Pomodoro Technique is a time management tool that encourages people to really focus and work with the time that they have.
And when you use Pomodoro, what you do is you break your time into 30 minute increments. And this is adjustable but I think classically it is a 30 minute increment where 25 of those minutes are spent focused solely on the one thing that you’re trying to get done. And then it’s followed by a five minute break and then you repeat. And what this does is it changes the illusion that you have the whole day to get something done. And it also helps you focus with less distractions.
In my opinion it works really well for people who tend to procrastinate because it gives you this illusion that you have a small amount of time to get a lot done, which is when procrastinators are usually the most effective. And if you are an app person there are plenty of apps in your phone’s app store that you can find that will help you with this technique, if you just type in the word ‘Pomodoro’. Or sometimes what I like to do is, I just turn my phone on ‘Do not disturb’ and I use the timer in my phone, it works the exact same way.
And the fourth and final tool that I will like to offer is to honor your own personal rhythm and flow as much as possible. If you are an early bird, schedule your work in chore time in the morning as much as you can, and vice versa, if you are a night owl. If you are square peg stop trying to fit yourself into round holes in all the circumstances where you can avoid it.
So those are my best tips and tricks around time management. And hopefully this will help you have more time for self-care, more time for your family, more time and energy to bring your dreams into life. Hopefully these things will give you more peace of mind, and less stress around time, and less negativity and resentment around your commitment. And really there’s so much more I could say about this topic and other scarcity topics like money and love, belief, freedom.
But alas I try to keep this podcast under 30 minutes, under 20 if I can. But I do have some wonderful things in store for all of you coming down the pipeline around the holidays that will address these topics and more in a deep diving life transformation fashion. So stay tuned because as I promised, you don’t want to miss it. And when life gets hectic, remember the secret about time is that it’s not a change in the amount of time that you have, but rather it is a change in your mind about time first. You have all the time in the world just like everybody else.
Have a wonderful week.
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Thank you for listening to The Wealthy Happy Soul Podcast. If you want to dive deeper into alignment and start cultivating your inner wealth, head on over to drtangie.com.