Are you truly committed to creating a life of purpose? Or are you just trying to hitch a ride to that destination? So many people think they’re committed, but are always waiting for the evidence and experiences that give them permission to believe in themselves. But I’m here to tell you that that rarely works.
Join me on the podcast this week to discover what real commitment looks like and why it’s impossible to create a life of purpose if you are not fully committed. I’m sharing why boldness and audacity are qualities that will always serve you even if you get told no, and how to bring more of them into your life.
You are listening to episode six of the Wealthy Happy Soul Podcast: Commitment.
Welcome to The Wealthy Happy Soul Podcast, a show for high achievers who are ready to start enjoying the life they’ve worked so hard to create. Join me, your host and Certified Life Coach Dr. Tangie, to learn how to start infusing the dedication you have for your career into living a truly fulfilling life. If you’re ready to finally gain the happiness your soul has been longing for, this podcast is for you.
Hey everybody. I am so happy you are here. Welcome to episode six. Yay. Well, first things first, I would like to thank nah429 for her review on this podcast. And they said that, “This is amazingly amazing. I cannot wait to hear the next one. I learned so much in the first. Dr. Tangie is absolutely awesome with her teachings.” And I just want to say thank you so much for that. I am very grateful for your review and for the time that you’ve taken out to listen to this podcast and to subscribe, and rate, and review.
But just a reminder for everybody who has reviewed the podcast, I just want to make sure that you do not miss out on the giveaway that I am doing. So if you could screenshot your review and email it to me at email@example.com, I would be very grateful because if not I won’t be able to enter you into the contest I have going to give away five $100 gift cards. And I don’t want you to miss out on any free money. So if you could do that for me I would really appreciate it.
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Alright, so today we are talking about the last stage of conscious creation, commitment. And just to recap the last three episodes have been about the first two stages which are learning to use your intuition and learning how to make confident decisions as quickly as possible.
And I think that the fable of the chicken and the pig is perfect to illustrate the concept of commitment. And there are several versions of this fable and story but essentially it kind of goes like this. There is this pig and this chicken and they’re walking down the road and the chicken says, “Hey pig, I was thinking we should open a restaurant.” And the pig replies, “Maybe. What will we call it?” And then the chicken responds, “Hey, how about Ham and Eggs?” And then the pig thinks for a moment and he goes, “No, thank you. And the reason is because I would be committed but you would only be involved.”
And this is because when producing a dish that’s made of eggs with ham or bacon the pig is the one who provides the ham and the bacon, which requires a much bigger sacrifice than the chicken who provides the eggs, which in relativity are not that difficult to produce. So in this story the pig is really committed to that dish, while the chicken is only involved. Yet both are needed to produce the dish.
And I think this is a perfect analogy to the concepts of decision and commitment and really evaluating what is your level of commitment to the life that you want to create for yourself? Are you committed or are you merely involved? So what is commitment? Commitment is the dedication to an outcome until its manifestation is complete. Commitment requires belief even when you cannot see the result yet.
And many people wait until they have the experiences or the evidence in their life that gives them the permission to believe in themselves. But I’m here to tell you that that rarely works. If you want to change your beliefs you really have to go out and have the audacity or the boldness to create the experiences for yourself and make them real to you. It doesn’t work the opposite way around.
And I actually learned this type of audacity from my mom who would always make me call people and businesses as a kid and ask them all sorts of questions that I didn’t want to ask them.
And an example of this is one time, I believe I had some sort of application due, but our family was going to be on spring break and I was going to miss the deadline and I was freaking out about it. And she was just like, “Well, just call the people and say, ‘Hey, I know you said the application was due on the 12th, but our family will be on spring break until the 13th, so can I get it to you the very next day? Is there something that could be done?’”
And she would make me do things like this very often. And I would be equally offended every single time she suggested it. And the Virgo in me would be like, “Mom, it’s right there in black and white, they’re going to tell me no.” And she would always respond that, “The answer as it stands right now is no. But there is no chance for a yes if you don’t even ask.”
And what happened was that way more often than I expected when I tried, the answer was actually yes. And this is what led me down the path of boldness and audacity as an adult. And I believe that that is also what contributed to much of the success that I have had in my life over the years.
I remember in college when the scholarship I was on wanted me to go to veterinarian school instead of to medical school. And what I did was I just marched right on into the president of the university’s office and I just said, “Listen, I need a full ride from the school because I want to be a doctor.” Who does that? In hindsight I kind of laugh at myself sometimes, but guess what, her answer was yes.
And I also remember having this research internship at Johns Hopkins the summer after my junior year in college. And I had read Ben Carson’s earlier books and I really looked up to him. At the time I wanted to be a neurosurgeon just like him.
And I knew there weren’t that many neurosurgeons and there were far less Black neurosurgeons. And he worked at Hopkins and I was there, I thought it was kismet so I just walked on up to his office and I saw his secretary and I was like, “Hey, is Dr. Carson in? I would really like to speak to him.” And I now understand the look on her face that she was giving me but he actually wasn’t there that day and she and I ended up having this long conversation. And I was just telling her how much his books meant to me and how much I looked up to him.
And lo and behold two weeks later Dr. Carson actually sent me a note saying he was sorry he missed me and his secretary told me I had stopped by and to keep up the good work. I could totally be a neurosurgeon if I wanted to. And I have stories like this that I could literally tell for days. I also have plenty of stories where the answer was actually no or the experience was very discouraging. But when I look back over my life the good stories for certain outweigh the bad stories.
So where is it that you might be able to be more audacious in your dedication to creating a life of purpose where you’re not stagnated or living in financial stress? But instead you’re making more money than you’ve ever dreamed of because you’re making what you are actually capable of instead of what you just settled for. When you’re audacious you can create that life where you have the freedom to enjoy yourself. And you have peace of mind because you know that you’ve given this life all that you have.
And if you find yourself in a space where you feel like you’ve made the decision that you want something different but you haven’t been able to make it to the finish line, be willing to consciously commit. All that’s really happening for you right now is that you haven’t stayed truly focused for long enough or boldly enough for your momentum to be noticeable. And one of the reasons is because there is this cost of commitment that nobody ever really tells you about.
Most of us underestimate the amount of time and effort and internal work on ourselves that it’s actually going to take to achieve our goals. I find out new stuff about me every day where it’s like, whoa, I’ve got to work on that if I want to reach my next level. And if you don’t do that, that’s where you start to compromise or minimize your goals. And when you do that, that’s why you end up with something that doesn’t quite look like what you originally imagined that it would look like.
Another thing for you to keep in mind is that the B in point B, what it stands for is new beginning. And what we forget about new beginnings is that they actually involve loss and counting the cost. Seriously, you can’t move to North Carolina and still be living in California. You either have to commit to the journey or not go.
And the other thing that usually comes up around all of this is the fear of commitment, the actual fear. And all that is, is our primitive brain’s response to doing something new and potentially breaking away from the pack who is too afraid to commit to something new, from the pack, who isn’t even aware that there’s something new to do. And in cavemen days that could literally equate to a person’s death. But for most of us, especially for what we’re talking about here today it mostly just translates to the point that probably the worst thing that can happen is someone telling you no.
And in reality the worst thing that can happen is you not even trying. There is this quote that Michael Jordan is quoted as saying, “Work ethic eliminates fear.” If you put in the work what are you afraid of? And putting in the work consistently is a reflection of where your commitment lies. When you commit you begin to gain traction and create the evidence for yourself that things are changing, that this is possible, that you can do it.
And if you’re anything like me I know you dream big and you always set big goals. And if that’s the case you also need to accept that commitment is going to be hard. But it’s not really the goal or the thing that’s hard, the hard part is overcoming resistance, because obstacles are going to come up. And the biggest form of resistance that we usually face is our own thinking, it’s the thinking that it shouldn’t be hard or that you shouldn’t have to struggle to get there, but that is a falsity.
How willing are you to increase your level of commitment knowing that commitment is going to cost you? It’s going to be scary, it will be hard. How willing are you to own your mission, which is to accept that it will be hard and accept that you don’t know the outcome and do it anyway? Commit anyway, that is how you consciously create your life.
Have a great week.
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Thank you for listening to The Wealthy Happy Soul Podcast. If you want to dive deeper into alignment and start cultivating your inner wealth, head on over to drtangie.com.